Number Four.

Yesterday, for the second time… I moved from Dublin to Louth. I’m really not as angry or bitter this time. I’ve decided that, while it will make getting to college harder and that, I need to be around my family right now. I’m tired of being sad. I’m tired of feeling lonely and depressed and hopeless.

I told my mam and dad last week how I’ve been feeling and that. We decided that maybe I should come home for the 99 days that are left until I go to America. Wow, 98 days. That seems like such a short time. We’re going for 85 days… seems like ages. aha. It’s weird like that.

Today is Valentine's day. I did nothing as usual- but with the boy I am madly in love with. I know we fight a lot- mostly because I’m a dickhead- but I want to spend every second with James. I feel unreal happy when I’m with him. If all of life could be like that, this would be so easy.

I went out Saturday night because my sister broke up with her mad fella and wanted a night on the tiles. I only had three bottles- didn’t get drunk and still had a good night. No more spirits, no more than three beers and only drinking once a month for the next three months. Once I go to America it’s going altogether. I’m sick of it. I’m sick of what it does to me. It’s really hard to stop but I’m going to. Yeah, so Shan’s fella turns up and starts crying at her and hanging off her and that… She just wanted one night to have fun on her own. Man, I hate him.

I feel so aimless lately. Barely anything excites me anymore. I can't be bothered.

I am currently lying in bed in a lovely warm house, about to watch Finding Forrester talking to someone I would consider one of my best friends and my absolute best friend/ boyfriend. I have a can of coke and I'm up to leave for college in six hours. This one's short but meh. I just wanted to write, I guess.